Mental @ Hati Yang Terluka?

Banyak kali juga aku fikirkan apa yang aku nak share with this topic. Aku sedar aku mengalami masalah ini 2 tahun lepas. I don't know why and I believe it's getting worst now.

Bukan sekali, bukan dua kali, tapi dah berkali-kali benda ni jadi kat aku. Bila aku buat something, focus aku lost. I can't remember things, I forget things, otak aku nak buat lain, tapi tangan aku buat lain. Aku pandang benda lain, tapi aku tulis benda lain (aku sebenarnya nak tulis pasal apa yang aku tengah pandang). 

When I was with my ex few years ago, benda ni dah jadi banyak kali. Contohnya aku fikirkan kopi, tapi aku sebut teh. And masa tu dia aware dengan masalah focus aku ni, then he asked aku OK tak. Then, I just smiled sebab aku rasa benda tu kelakar and macam bengong pun ada gak. Kalau aku sekali dua jadi macam tu, aku tak hairan sangat. It happens very frequently... dan sekarang aku risau dengan diri aku sendiri. 

Bila aku buat few research kat Google, banyak juga information yang aku dapat. Mungkin sebab aku depress, mungkin juga sebab aku banyak fikir. These are the symptoms of mental health problem:-

• Be easily distracted, miss details, forget things, and frequently switch from one activity to another
• Have difficulty maintaining focus on one task
• Become bored with a task after only a few minutes, unless doing something enjoyable
• Have difficulty focusing attention on organizing and completing a task or learning something new or trouble completing or turning in homework assignments, often losing things (e.g., pencils, toys, assignments) needed to complete tasks or activities
• Not seem to listen when spoken to
• Daydream, become easily confused, and move slowly
• Have difficulty processing information as quickly and accurately as others
• Struggle to follow instructions

Dan sebenarnya aku mengalami semua simptom-simptom ni. Aku tak ingin menagih simpati sesiapa, hanya ingin berkongsi. This is my space, it's up to me to share what I would like to share. When it really happens to me someday, then you know... I know about it earlier. 

My facebook status today is "broken heart always hurt". Kadang-kadang, aku dah kebal with these feelings. Crying is the only way to lead it out sebab I don't have anyone to speak with. Benar, ianya menjadikan aku kuat dengan apa yang dah berlaku, I don't want brag. What's next? I will face it... 

Hidup ini jangan harapkan orang untuk kasihankan kita. Kita kasihankan diri kita dulu, sebab belum tentu orang akan fikirkan tentang kita. 

Jangan nak sibuk jaga hati orang, jaga hati kita dulu. Sebab hati ini, kita nak pakai lama. Jaga hati sendiri. 

Attention defisit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and attention deficit disorder (ADD) symptoms that may begin in childhood and continue into adulthood. ADHD and ADD sympoms can cause problems at home, school, work, and in relationships. 

Note: No wonder I face many times of failure. =)